Author Dr. James. A McBean. D.Th., MCC

Copyright © 2010 Library of Congress Washington.D.C.20559

Publisher: Revival Tract Ministries Inc

The purpose of this article: Speaking to men-unborn!

I f you know where up ahead the enemy is going to ambush you, you can go around it or you can quickly turn the table on the enemy. Satan uses hear says, power struggle, money trouble, sexual preferences, customs and cultures, hard feelings, hurt feeling, and the interferences of family and friends to down a marriage. If you are having problems in your marriage life, go seek a professional counselor, to let in the privacy of your life, and never go related your problems with family and friends who will take sides, then talk about you behind your backs.

Problem Solving Skills:

Learning how to communicate in conflicts: Always remember that you two are not enemies, you two are only having a misunderstanding or a disagreement. Therefore, there is no real need for tone of voice, hard word, and treats. For example, two people are fighting in the street, there is no need to pull a gun, if the other person did not pull one.

Do Not Give Yourself A Trigger Word:

Some people, any day the “N” word is used to them, referring to them, is the same day they commit murder. You can always control them, and determine when to make that person get himself or herself into trouble, just by using whatsoever word triggers them off. In a relationship, you must not have a trigger word. Do not use one and do not react to one. People can call me Negro or nigger as much as they want, that is not my trigger word. My trigger word is “Jesus savior pilots me.” Or, gi-mi chuck, chuck.”

You Do Not Need To Be Perfect For Me:

One of the way I deal with people, I do not give them any commandments. You do not need to be fine and dandy for me to love you. You do not need to come home on time each day to avoid a fights. Come home when you want, cook if you want, you are not my servants, be ugly if you want, be nasty if you want. Be yourself! You do not need to be nice for me. Only one thing about a woman bother me, if you are driving in my car do not pick fights with other motorists, I do not want them to shoot up my car, and I do not want to have to shoot back. Pretend that you did not see him cutting me off, because that is how I deal with the road rage problem.

Leave Room For Reconciliations:

Always leave room for reconciliation to chip in after the conflicts are over. The scriptures teach us that it is “Not good for a man to be alone” some of the time to remain in the marriage you has to be able to take a lot of pounding. You did not marry to be pounded, but things are going to happen by the way. Most of the problems that will down a marriage could have been avoided if the couple did get some training to put them in the correct mind set. The first thing: There are no angel people, people have their own kind of staunchness. Everyone of us love the smell of a new born baby. I have news for you, they do not smell like that all the time. Everyone of us loves a pretty woman! Well: They do not pretty all the time.

Choose Somebody That You And They Can Agree:

Amos 3:3 (NKJV) Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?

Choose somebody that you and they can agree on something, if you two can work out your difference without fighting all the time; that is a plus.

You Will Not Reach Anywhere Without Forgiveness.

2 Cor. 2:10-11 To whom you forgive anything, I forgive also: for if I forgave anything, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; [11] Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.

If you cannot forgive, relationship is not for you. If you are not sensitive to the feelings of others, and pay attention to your words and actions, the relationship is not for you.

James 3:2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.

You Are Part Of The Whole Family:

When you marry a person, you also marriage their customs, do not insult it, looking down at it or badmouthing it. There are some people in that family that are no good and some are good, treat all of them with respect. Do not change them, be strong enough to live with it and find a way around it. You do not need to stop and fix every part of the road, find a path around the bad spots.

You Cannot Go Far If You Are Uprooted From Scriptures.

The reason why there are so many divorces in our time, people are uprooted from the principles of the scriptures. The building will never come out to code if the builder deviates from the blueprint. The pilot will lost if the navigator is drunk and are not following the compass. Ephes. 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Col. 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Eight Commands For Husbands

1. To be head of the wife (Ephes. 5:23). 2. To love their wives as Christ loved the Church (Ephes. 5:25). 3. To love their wives as their own bodies (Ephes. 5:28,33). 4. To nourish (Greek: ektrepho), bring up, care for, protect, Ephes. 5:29; Ephes. 6:4; Rev. 12:6) 5. To cherish (Greek: thalpo, to foster, warm in one's bosom, Ephes. 5:29; 1 Thes. 2:7) 6. To be joined as one flesh (Ephes. 5:30-31) 7. To leave their parents for their wives (Ephes. 5:31) The word: “Love” Here is not talking about a feeling, but a doing.

The Wife Must Reverence Husband.

Ephes. 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Reverence husband mean to give honor to the husband. 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

The Husbands Must Give Honor To The Wife.

In computer programming, we call this a “loop” We come full circle every time. We came right back where we started, doing the same thing all over again. The same command given to husbands is the same command given to wives, but with different wording. Husbands must remember that we are not living in the days when wives were used as a donkey to haul water and carry firewood.

Leave And Cleave:

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Matthew 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

There has to be a leaving and a cleaving. Once you exchange vows you are not in covenants with your mate, and are out from under the commandment of mother and father, you are now responsible to your mate.

1 Peter 3:1-7 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; [2] While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. [3] Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; [4] But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. [5] For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: [6] Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. [7] Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Do Not Set The Marriage Up To Fall Into Sex Traps:

1 Cor. 7:1-5 Now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. [2] Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. [3] Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. [4] The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. [5] Defraud you not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Do not think that you can spite somebody out of sex, and they do not go get it elsewhere. This is a regular church people problem. “He saved, so he will have to wait for me to come around and give him some, or else him sin and will go to hell.” You are wrong.

Matthew 18:7 Woe unto the world because of offenses! For it must needs be that offenses come; but woe to that man by whom the offense cometh!