"HOW TO DEAL WITH NASTY PEOPLE"
Copyright C 1998 by J.A.Mcbean. Library of Congress Washington.D.C.20559
D ealing with good people is not a problem because good people are like that because they are; mature. Nasty people are like that because they were stuck up in the limbo of kid’s stuff. They tell themselves how nice and how pretty they are. The richest man that live upon the face of the earth got rich because they know how to deal with people, they know human nature, and learn how to use it to their advantage. If you cannot deal with nasty people then really did not learn much. Nasty people can drive you up a will, make you loose your jobs, make you loose your marriage, your home, your family and end up in prison. Nasty people will make you kill them. The first thing you need to know is that nasty people are not nasty, they are in pain. In addition, since they are in pain you should not respond with animosity. Nasty people are a failure to themselves and others and sometime they are pretending to be somebody else, and are living in a utopia of dreamland. For example, a young woman acting as if she has no use for a man, whom is she fooling? Might as well she act like she has no need for food, or no need to have a bath?
The world is full of nasty people. Everywhere you and I go they are there. We cannot get rid of them; you just have to learn how to deal with them. You have to know that nasty people are around; you have to be able to know them within few hours.
When we tolerate aggression it only get worst, when we succumb to difficult people they do not necessarily get better, but sometime it make good sense to find a way to deal with them. The Japanese say, “Men despise other men that have qualities that they themselves lack”
Every nasty behavior that people displayed, they do it because something or someone makes them afraid. People can become very nasty when feeling threatened, and feeling inferior to a under dog. Even a minister of religions sometime displayed scared cat mentality, and try to get rid of a prospective minister, who is a under dog. People are scared that other people will take their job, their mate, and their positions. Once people saw qualities in you that they do not have, they condescend to some of the nastiest trick. Difficult people are more difficult in the job market, and that is the place where you will meet them the most.
THE PROUD AND THE SCORNFULL.
This group of people think that they are better than other people. They think that way and they act it. While working with a patient in the nursing homes, sometime the relatives of the old patient came and saw the Nurse or Nurse assistant working with their father/mother they just walk in and pretend not to see the worker. The health care worker is treated like no body. This person pretend like the only person in the room is their parents and them. The health care worker must also behave as if the only person in the room is herself/himself and the patient. To deal with the scornful you have to scorn them. When you scorned the scornful, they melt down; they can dish out rejection but cannot take it.
Psalm 88:18 (KJV)Lover and friend hast thou put far from me, and mine acquaintance into darkness.
THE WALL THAT PEOPLE SET UP TO KEEP OUT OTHERS, ALSO KEEP THEM IN.
When people show up their bad attitudes you must capitalized on it. Bad attitudes mean you must withdrew from such a person, keep your distance. What do people do when they find themselves standing before a rattlesnake? They run. Scornful people and people who think that they are better than others are nothing more that a rattle snake. They want you to stay away from them and that is what you must do. Do not jump over people fence, nor brake down their walls. Watch a woman who thinks that she is better than men, and has an habit of referring to men as dogs, you will be surprise to see the dog she finally settle far.
SMILING COBRAS.
Smiling cobras is somebody that wants to get up the ladder of authority, will laugh up in your face, but at the same time is a danger. When dealing with a cobra you must only smile back, laugh back, but watch your words. If the cobra ask, “What do you think about John” Just be frank and say. I do not think about others. Cobra is a master of words twisting.
Psalm 56:5 (Living) They are always twisting what I say. All their thoughts are how to harm me.
Psalm 55:21 The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords.
He/she will tell you that you do not interacted enough, but that is a trap. You have to know when you are dealing with a cobra, or else he/she will get you. Cobra is a person you do not want in your corner. However, will appear so friendly that you will even uses his or her name on a résumé and they sink you deep down in Dung Street.
Does any body ever call you and ask about such person? From you know he/she, do they ever contribute any thing to your life? Information or just help of any sort?
Do not put new people in your confidence until you get to know them. Therefore, do not engage in a conversation with others about others until you know what going on.
These know how to win people over to their sides. If smiling cobras take a disliking to you, and if this person has some authority, you will better off start to plan your leaving. However, do not leave until you find something better. Smiling cobras and a back stabber is also the same person. However, a back stabber might not be smiling cobras. In other word, a smiling cobras has two traits, “he/she is the grand daddy of them all, backstabbing, two faced, pit digging.
WHY PEOPLE FIGHT ON THE JOB?
The reasons for work place problem are many. However, one stand out above all. “The need for a scapegoat” “ We need to make somebody that every body hates” On every job, or in every community people always look for somebody to be the fall guy, the look down upon person and they usually find somebody that are of better quality than themselves to make look bad. The person on the job that every body hates bears all the blames, while the real troublemakers get away. One of my nursing home jobs, some workers went home in the night while still on the clock. Then return two hours later. No body is watching that person because he/she is not the fall guy.
WHEN CHOOSEN TO BE THE SCAPE GOAT.
These are some decisive actions you can take up when you discovered that you have been chosen to be the next scapegoat.
DO NOT MAKE PEOPLE CHOOSE THE BATTLE THAT YOU MUST FIGHT.
"In today's fast-paced work environment where everything seems urgent – if not a crisis - it's easy to get caught up in an issue simply because everyone else is so worked up about it. However, according to Dr. Richard Carlson, author of a series of bestselling books on success, one of the keys to a satisfying and productive career - and life - is to choose your battles wisely.
Carlson observes that life is filled with opportunities to choose between making a big deal out of something or simply letting go and moving forward. When you argue over every confrontation, you will be perceived as a troublemaker, but if you challenge only those issues that are truly important to you, your opinions and disagreement will bear more weight and people will listen.
"One of the major contributing factors to self-created stress is the tendency that most of us have to hold on to battles that we have virtually no chance of winning," Carlson writes in his bestselling book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work. He adds that even if you win the wrong battle, you lose, because you have expended energy and effort that could have been put to better use.
How can you tell which battles are worth fighting? Here are some guidelines: When not to fight - You are trying to change people who have no interest in changing. The outcome will not be materially different whether you win or lose. - The matter really is not very relevant or important to you.
You are not fully informed about the issue or fully convinced that your position is correct. - You have no chance of winning. - You have other priorities that are far more pressing. - You are just feeling surly or want to show others you are not a wimp. When it's
OK to fight: - Your ideas are being diminished. - Your reputation is being sullied. - It is for the betterment of the organization. - You are standing up against action that is cruel or illegal. - Something legitimate or terribly important is at stake. - The issue involves integrity. - The issue involves a significant amount of money. "There are times that embracing confrontation is good," says David D'Alessandro, CEO of John Hancock Financial Services. "Don't be mean to people just because you're mean or you're unhappy. Pick a fight when you believe you are right and the stakes are worth it. Even if you lose, you will be respected for having picked the fight.
"Successful people have an uncanny ability to know when to advance and when to retreat. It comes from having a mindset that is oriented toward making things work, not wasting time figuring out why things went wrong. Successful people are realistic, seek responsibility, tolerate ambiguity, and are willing to make decisions and take action. They expect to win. In addition, one of the best ways to win is to choose your battles!
THE JOB SCARED.
You cannot truly deal with people until you categorized them. You have to know what category that person fall in. For example, it is your first week on the job. You try to act nice and try to win some friends.
When a person is scared that your talent or qualities might caught the attention of the boss, how do they behave?
They uses sarcasm, every time you open your mouth, it is meet with ridicules, no matter what you say. It is important for you to know that the sarcasm and ridicules is to make you behave bad, loud, and nasty. Once you do that, you confirm what they already predict of you and you fall into the trap.
They will use bad looks; they start to needle the new worker. If that do not let you cut and run, they go to a more severe tactics, always getting worst each time. Sometime fighting fire with fire is not the best remedy here; troublemakers always first buy the bosses and supervisors out and have them in their pocket and panties. You might have to buy this person out. Find something good about the troublemaker to praise him/her for. Have nothing to say but praises.
Every job has a person who is a “suck up.” Pay attention to a suck up and watch how they do it, you can barrow a few of the suck up skills. To disarm the job scared person, you will have to show him/her that you are not a treat. Note, gossips, and hear says is one of the suck up tools, but you do not have to condensed to that. A suck up never speak their true mind, and people in authority love suck up. A suck up know when to laugh with the person in authority and un their way home the suck up said he/she was only laughing after them not with them as how it did look. You need to barrow a few tools from a suck up. How often do you see a suck up get hurt? Just remember that a suck up and a boot licker is one and the same, so you must not become one only barrow a few of their tools.
WATCH YOUR REMARKS AND LEARN DOCUMENTATION.
The Japanese say,” Even no respond is a form of respond” During the time when the person is bothering you, you must be documenting what is being said and done. Also, document your respond. If you are documenting your own respond, you will not make any nasty ones. Planned your defense. Time, date, what was said, your respond, and who was there as a witness. Keep these in a safe place. If you have to complain, you must do it in writing, so the person has a chance to respond, if it is not in writing it is gossips.
If you get loud and nasty like the troublemaker, you have lost the battle; you must be able to see the problem coming and defuse it. Difficult situations are part of everyone’s life. Employers and employees cannot get along, these situations, they always get worse. You have to find the best peaceful way to deal with it. If you attack the person, at least you are trying to fix the problem, but attacks, rage, and irrational anger will only give you a bad name, makes people afraid of you, and reduces honest communication. Disconnecting from the problem and from the person is not always practical. This will cause you to lost employees supporters and friends because you needlessly disassociate from them. This may reduce your stress, but you might also become lonely and poor.
THE BIRD DUNGS KIND OF PEOPLE.
The bird dung and the chip on the shoulder kind of person are the same. This is always trying to pick a fight, throwing his or her weight around. You need to ask yourself a questions before you get into a fight. Who is the one that truly want this fight? Since you are not the one that wants the fight, do not fight.
Work place violence is steadily on the rise in USA, people are upset for every thing. They take their problems to the jobs. Some of the time it reaches a proportion that work place problems played itself out on the street. They take the work place fight to the street.
WORK PLACE VIOLENCE HAS A LOT TO DO WITH WHO IS IN AUTHORITY.
Proverbs 29:2 When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked beareth rule, the people mourn.
THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE:
In an electrical circuit, current will always follow the path of least resistance. Because of this, sometimes the current makes its own paths where there should not be any. We call this a short circuit.
People does the same thing, they have aggression and hate bottled up in them. Some of them get themselves caught up in life styles that they hated Because of this, they always feel upset. They will take this upset spirit right to the job, home and church, and then they will look for somebody who they think will not give them any resistance and make a Physiological punching bags out the person, if they think they can get away with it. You do not have to be a punching bag nor a doormat, and you do not need to fight fire with fire.
SOMETIME ONLY JESUS CAN HELP US:
Matthew 6:33-AV But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Isaiah 55:6-AV Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Isaiah 55:7-AV Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
LOOK AT THE BENEFITS OF BECOMING A CHRISTIAN:
How does a person become a Christian, and are sure that he/she is save? First the person must know that he/she is a sinner and need deliverance from the lord.
Romans 3:23 (KJV) for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
Galatians 3:22 (KJV) But the scripture hath concluded all under sin, that the promise by faith of Jesus Christ might be given to them that believe.
THE SINNER MUST BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A GOD:
Hebrews 11:6 NKJV But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
THE SINNER MUST BELIEVE THAT GOD IS READY TO FORGIVE HIM:
Isaiah 55:7 (KJV)Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
THE SINNER MUST BELIEVE THAT CHRIST DIED FOR HIM:
Romans 5:6 (KJV) For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
Romans 5:8 (KJV)But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
1 Cor. 15:3-8 (KJV) For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; [4] And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: [5] And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve: [6] After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep. [7] After that, he was seen of James; then of all the apostles. [8] And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time.
MUST BELIEVE THAT GOD CAN KEEP HIM:
Ephes. 3:20 (KJV) Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Jude 1:24 (KJV) Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
PERFECTING THE SAINTS IS A WORK OF GOD:
1 Peter 5:10 (KJV) But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you.
THE SINNER MUST KNOW THAT ONLY JESUS CAN SAVE THEM:
Acts 4:12 (KJV) Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.
THE SINNER MUST MAKE A DECISION TODAY:
Isaiah 1:18 (KJV) Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
2 Cor. 6:2 (KJV) (For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.)
BOW YOUR HEAD AND PRAY THIS PRAYER:
Lord I am a sinner and need your salvation. Forgive all my sins. I accept your son Jesus as my savior today.
We can sing with the song writer" I rise walk in heaven’s own light above the world and sin with heart made pure and garments white, and Christ en-throned with in. The cleansing stream I see I see I plunge, and O It cleans-eth me. O praise the Lord, it cleans-eth me, it cleans-eth me yes, cleans-eth me."
DROP ALL PRE-CONCEIVE IDEAS OF CHRISTIANITY:
Drop all preconceived ideas of Christianity because these conflict with the reality of Christianity. The lord will live the life through you day by day. You do not drop things from your life on your own. The spirit of God will walk you out of sins in his own time.
FIRST HUMBLING YOU:
Ephes. 2:8-9 (KJV)For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: [9] Not of works, lest any man should boast.
If you stop sins and get holy before God’s timing you will begin to boast how it is your own magnetism got you so far, then you became a source of discouragement to others. Therefore, you are going to stuck upon a sin or two. The sin always getting the better of you. This will push you to always accept God’s grace, and to see your own frailness.
1 John 1:8 (KJV) If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
TO CONTINUE GROWING IN GOD:
1 Peter 2:2 (KJV) As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:
2 Peter 1:5-10 (NKJV) But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, 6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, 7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 8 For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. 10 Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble.
FINDING OUT YOUR CALLING:
When I was newly save, the believers always, ask me if I know the will of God for my life! I never really know what they were talking about. Every person that was saved had a mission and a gift. However, because you are just a babe in Christ you do not know any of these. As you go on with the lord his will for you will unfolds day bay day. Do not run off and make any big commitment. Your mate has to be tailor made for you by God. You are now a citizen of heaven. Heaven does not rule by democracy. You cannot serve God with democratic mind set.
WHAT YOU MUST DROP OFF:
Hebrews 12:1 (Living Bible) Since we have such a huge crowd of men of faith watching us from the grandstands, let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us.
Ephes. 4:31 (Living Bible) Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives.
Col. 3:8 (Living Bible) but now is the time to cast off and throw away all these rotten garments of anger, hatred, cursing, and dirty language.
GET A GOOD BIBLE, AND FIND A GOOD CHURCH:
One of the best Bibles out there is the New King James Version. Dake’s annotated Bible is very good. Next, you need a living bible to make some thing simple.
Hebrews 10:25 (Living Bible) Let us not neglect our church meetings, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near.
PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM BEING SPOILED BY MAN:
Col. 2:8 (KJV)Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
Hebrews 13:9 (KJV) Be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines. For it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace; not with meats, which have not profited them that have been occupied therein.
Seven Ways that People Can Spoil Christians:
1. Through philosophy (Col. 2:8)
2. Through vain deceit (Col. 2:4,8,18-19)
3. Through human traditions (Col. 2:8)
4. Through human religion and world principles contrary to the gospel (Col. 2:8,14-23; note, §Galatians 4:3)
5. Through circumcision (Col. 2:11-13; Acts 15:1; Romans 4:9-16; Galatians 5:1-11)
6. Through the law of Moses, demanding observance of the laws on meats, drinks, holy days, new moons, feasts, and sabbaths (Col. 2:14-17)
7. Through cults that puff up and imitate the gospel (Col. 2:18-23)
By all these means, unsuspecting souls are being carried off as plunder and booty by false teachers. The founders of false religions and human philosophies which pamper the flesh and give their victims elated feelings of importance make an appeal to them.
Christianity is loaded down with some false concept. Some little believe system, which are spread by false believers. One of such teaching is that you must “Look like Christians” How does Christians look? Genuine Christianity is not an external thing but of the heart and spirit.
Micah 6:8 (KJV)He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?
When cults capture a newly converted Christians, the cult first job on that new believer is to close their mind. Preventing the new believer from reading any material from other churches. So that new believer will never get out of their trap.
YOUR HORMONE DOES NOT STOP WORKING WITH CHRISTIANITY:
Philip. 3:20-21 (KJV)For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ: [21] Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself.
Romans 8:23 (KJV) And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.
Our bodies were not save at conversion. The work of redemption took place in your spirit man. Our body will be redeemed at the return of our lord. We are still waiting for the redemption of our body.
According to Philip 3:20-21 and Romans 8:23. You are still going to have urges. You have to present your body to the lord as a living sacrifice. Not dead one. Living sacrifice give trouble, you will have trouble keeping that body tied to the altar. However, as you and I grow in the lord what seem impossible will be quite possible.
Come back for update soon.
Bearer Of The Mind Sword.
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